Let’s Talk about Sex!
I updated my capstone project statement.
Let’s Talk about Sex! is a book that teaches parents how to talk about sex/sexuality/relationships with their children. In the United States, teenage sex has been dramatized — fraught with conflicting cultural messages, the enforcement of ineffective abstinence-only classes, and the worst health outcomes among developed nations, generating concern among the public, policymakers, and scholars. In contrast, sex education is required in the Netherlands where the teachers team up with parents of adolescents to create an engaging, healthy culture of learning. While changing public policy remains an uphill battle, this book will empower parents to take matters into their own hands by creating open, flourishing relationships with their children as they are an often overlooked, site for how youth come to relate to sexuality, themselves, and others.
Right now my tentative title is’ Let’s Talk about Sex!’ I think I want to iterate on this, but it was top of mind. I’m generally really to the point when it comes to naming things. I’d like this name to be cheekier if possible.
This week, in Matt’s class, we started with a type exercise. Here were my results:
It helped me consider the most important concepts surrounding my project. I’ve decided that “talking” needs to be the focus. The goal of this project is to help families have more conversations, not just one ‘birds and the bees’ talk one time. It’s a mindset that sex is something we talk openly about in our family. We say vagina, we say labia, we say penis. We don’t have to use a nickname, the name is what it is.
I always include anecdotal things I find– often without meaning to– that are related to my capstone. I came across a twitter thread this week that perfectly summed up my reasons for tackling the parent-child dynamic.
I originally started this project with the idea I wanted to reduce harm. I was thinking of my younger sister. She’s 14. I wanted to know how I can protect her. But then I realized, as the twitter post says, victims don’t cause or prevent assault. “The only thing you can do is create an open and non-judgmental relationship with your daughter around the issues of sex and personal autonomy.”
Additionally, I am taking a class on interracialism, which I hope will give me a more intersectional lens to my project.
Below is leftover thoughts from last semester, when I talked to a man who grew up in a sex-positive family with a mother who was a nurse.
Key Takeaways:
- Parents that are nurses often have conversations that are clinical and about the body, less about the pleasurable aspects of sex
- Best way to talk about healthy relationships is to embody healthy relationships (this is for the parents)
- Consider talking to children about the pleasurable aspects of sex. Talk about how they need to be thinking not just about themselves, but their partner too
